Breaking Down
by whateverforever12
Summary: Callie let's herself break down to Stef after her dinner with Robert.


**A/N-This is set in the the most recent episode, after Callie and Robert's dinner. I feel like Callie has a long overdue meltdown, and it would be a perfect opporotunity to explore Callie and Stef's bond (the bond I enjoy so much). This is also just my experience with panic attacks and I know they are not all the same. Hope you enjoy! I do not own The Fosters.**

Stef crept quietly down the stairs towards the noise she was hearing from her room. She often woke up several times during the night due to being such a light sleeper, but she didn't mind because sometimes it was a good thing, and she was hoping this was one of those times. When she reached the bottom of the steps, she saw a figure on the couch and it was evident of who it was. Stef quietly walked into the living room, careful not to startle the girl.

"Callie, baby, are you okay?" She asked.

Callie quickly looked up. "Yea I'm fine. Couldn't sleep."

"Are you feeling okay?" Stef asked, going over to put her hand on her forehead to check if she had a fever.

As Stef got closer she could better see the girls tear stained cheeks, with a couple still lingering on her skin.

Stef sat down next to her and quickly wiped the tears off of her face. "Oh come here sweets."

Stef pulled Callie into her side, rocking her slightly back and forth. Callie rested her head on Stef's shoulder and let herself relax into the woman's embrace. She felt safe. Like nothing could reach her. Stef pressed her lips on top of Callie's head, leaving them there for a minute as she continued to rocking her. Callie's eyes continued looking straight ahead.

"What's the matter, my love?" Stef asked after the moments of silence.

Callie hesitated.

"I don't want anymore change. I don't think I can handle any more change." Callie finally admitted, to not only Stef but herself as well.

"Is this about Robert wanting custody?" Stef questioned.

"If he gets custody everything will change. I'll be at another new school where my credits probably won't transfer either, living with people I feel so different from half the time, without Jude or any of you and I don't...I don't think I can do that." Callie replied.

"We're trying to do everything we can to keep that from happening and I'm sorry that we aren't doing a better job." Stef sighed, resting her head on top of Callie's.

"It's not your fault. It's his. And the Law. And just the fact that it's me and nothing ever works out and anything good never lasts." Callie confided.

"I know you feel so out of control of everything, but I promise you that we aren't going down without a fight. You're already apart of this family, and that won't change, no matter what happens today, tomorrow, next week, next year even." Stef assured.

"I don't want to leave. I want to stay...here." Callie stammered between breaths, quickly falling into hysterics.

"Hey, hey, you aren't going anywhere just yet. We will cross that bridge when we get there but at this moment, right now, you are not going anywhere. Try to relax." Stef said, gently rubbing the girls head and pulling her in closer to her side.

"This is my home...and my family...and I finally...I finally was happy and he's going to...take that...away." Callie exasperated.

"This will always be your home and we will always be your family. We aren't letting him take this away from you. I need you to take a deep breath for me." Stef advised.

"I'm tired of being pulled off the ground by my hair and being...thrown into a whole new...situation without any...consent by me. I'm tired of...Robert thinking I'll want to leave everything because we...both hate cilanto. I'm-" Callie continued until she was cut off.

"Callie you're hyperventilating and I need you to try your best to relax. Look at me, okay? I'm right here just please, please take a deep breath." Stef practically begged.

Callie closed her eyes, causing a few more tears to fall onto Stef's pajama took a few deep breaths and moved her limp arms from her side to around Stef's waist, holding on for what seemed like dear life. Stef quickly re positioned herself so that she could engulf the girl into a hug, rubbing the hair on the back of Callie's head and rubbing her back as well.

"Just let it out, baby. It's okay." Stef assured, still gently rubbing her back.

Callie's sobs were silent, probably from years of practice.

"Everything is falling apart." Callie said quietly. "Robert is ruining everything."

Stef didn't particularly hate Robert, it was just hard for her to respect someone who could willingly put a child through unneccissary pain such as this. It was times like these that she wished Robert could see, times that showed the real truth of the matter.

"I'm right here. I'll pick up the pieces, baby, you just gotta let me." Stef comforted.

"I still can't...breathe." Callie admitted.

Since the first time Stef and Lena had learned of the panic attacks, they had put Callie in therapy and they had all learned tools to calm her, but they all seemed to be failing in this situation. Stef could feel her heart fall into her stomach. She felt like she was failing Callie, and she wanted with her whole heart to be able to fix everything.

"Just close your eyes and focus on it. Don't think of anything else, okay? Just think of your breathing. Count each breath. In, out. One. In, out. Two." Stef began, breathing with Callie.

Callie did as Stef said, struggling at first, but eventually bringing her breathing back to somewhat normal patterns.

"That's it. You got it." Stef encouraged.

Stef pryed herself away from the girl long enough to get her a glass of water from the kitchen.

"Drink this, love."

Callie did as she was told and was finally able to focus and didn't feel as though she was dying anymore.

Stef wrapped her arm around Callie and pulled her into her side again, and the two stayed like that for a few minutes.

Stef began to pull away to suggest they both go up to bed, but was quickly pulled back.

"Don't go. Not yet." Callie pleaded.

"Okay, okay. I won't go." Stef agreed.

She propped a pillow up on the couch and grabbed a blanket then layed on her side, motioning for Callie to squeeze in next to her. She knew her back would be mad at her for this in the morning, but it was worth it.

"Thank you." Callie said quietly.

"Of course, sweets. Anything for you." Stef replied.

Stef stayed up waiting for Callie to fall asleep before letting herself fall asleep as well. She couldn't think of any place she'd rather be.


End file.
